Christmas Kiddo
by Conigliomannaro
Summary: In which Roxas behaves like a lazy cat and Axel wants to go Christmas shopping. It's cold and they both end up eating chocolate.


Heather's birthday was last month, but I am lazy and forgetful and I didn't think of uploading this baby here. Happy bday, baby girl. You know Ilu.

—Betaed by Casey Valhalla —

* * *

Roxas' nose is cold against the skin of Axel's neck, when it nuzzles closer working its way through the folds of Axel's heavy scarf.

Axel hates the cold – Axel's like a feverish little boy, when it's cold; he gives out obscene amounts of heat, but he shivers and rattles his teeth when normal people barely wear a jacket, and now that it's Christmas season – and the roads are paved with ice, instead of asphalt – he's wearing so many layers that he looks kinda pregnant.

Can someone be 'kinda' pregnant? Isn't pregnancy a condition that it's either there, or not? And why is he even thinking of pregnancy in relation to Axel? God, the very mental image is nightmare material. Not to mention imagining the actual form of the little hellspawn that would come out of the mix of their genes: he would probably look like a dog ate a parrot and then vomited it inside a crib.

I need to stop drinking.

Axel gives a short yelp, when finally the frozen tip of Roxas' nose digs through folds of whool to touch the warm skin of his neck. He swats Roxas away like he's an annoying little fly, sends him a hateful glare, and there may be a hint of growling in his breath when he glides away.

"You're cold," he mutters, "Go fuck yourself."

"But Ax-xeeeeel," Roxas mock-whines, "You're warm. Keep me warm. Warm me up. Let me bask in your fabulous warmness."

"Warmth," Axel chimes in petulantly. Roxas chuckles.

"I'm foreign and ignorant," he offers, giving Axel the best unpolished German accent he can muster up, "And cold. And you're my oven." he considers Axel – buried under no less than at least nine layers of cotton, wool, leather and god only knows what – and snorts. "My sexy oven," he mocks. The sarcasm in his tone is dripping.

"I'm gonna punch you in the face," Axel mutters matter of fact, "And your eyes would look awful in purple. Don't make me hurt you."

"You say that as if you could do it," Roxas chuckles, sneaking up behind his cranky boyfriend and sliding his hands inside his coat pocket from behind. He's too tiny to lean his chin on Axel's shoulder, but he's short enough to nuzzle his way under his arm, and he pokes his head out from Axel's right side, looking up at him with shiny eyes and a wide grin. There are Christmas lights reflecting in his eyes, and his cheeks and nose are red from the cold; just his face is visible, framed by Axel's arm and waist, and even if Axel's idea was to keep his crabby disposition, he cannot help a small smile.

That's kinda cute. That pose, that boyfriend. Kinda cute. With that stupid boyish face and that stupid big dumb smile. Kinda cute and hella mischievous, and fuck Roxas and his stupid ice cold hands, he canfeel them through his coat, three sweaters, and one tank top.

God almighty, it's like a witch's tit, out there.

Axel huffs, takes a couple steps forward, and Roxas follows without pulling away, making walking a very awkward, slightly painful, extremely hard feat. Oh god, no. Roxas is having a Sora moment. God help him, they're never getting anywhere warm. They're gonna die on that sidewalk, while people stroll by in a rush to their last minute Christmas shopping spree and dogs piss little yellow fountains that freeze as soon as they touch the ground at every corner.

"Roxas, get off," he huffs, and Roxas' only response is a loud sneering sound from under Axel's pit. Axel's eyes close in a mockery of desperation, brows drawing together in a mix of annoyance and amusement, because Roxas, seriously? "Roxas, I said get off."

"You usually offer to help me with that," Roxas snorts, reaching a hand down to cup Axel's ass through the coat. It's not as fun as it would be indoors, because Axel's got more layers on than a grown ass onion, but his boyfriend laughs, so Roxas knows Axel somehow felt it. A hand swats his away, and Axel looks down at him with a fake scowling expression on his face before he speaks again.

"We are on a public street," he points out, "I'm pretty sure copping a feel isn't main boulevard behaviour."

"Let's get arrested," Roxas laughs, and Axel wonders briefly if the little asshole has dipped his glutton fingers in Naminé's eggnog before they got out, but it's a fleeting thought: Roxas never needed enhancements to behave like a complete fool, if the mood struck. It's what keeps things interesting, in the end: Axel never knows what his small devilish boyfriend is up to.

"Let's get arrested and have prison sex."

"Oh for god's sake," Axel snorts, trying to tug himself away and disengage from Roxas' embrace. "Get off of me, we need to get to the store. We gotta do stuff, before stores close."

"Stuff and things?" Roxas says, and the sound he makes when he speaks could easily be called a damn squeal. "Am I your Lori?"

"I sure hope not, she dies," Axel groans, his groan ending in a chuckle when Roxas grabs the outline of his belt through the inner of his pocket when he tries to pull the kid's hands out of his pockets. "Ro-xaaaaaaaaaaaaas," Axel whines, "Let's goooooo."

Roxas chuckles, bites the side of Axel. Axel doesn't show any sign of noticing. Too many layers.

"I don't like shopping," Roxas mock-whines, "I wanna go hoooooome. Let's gohooooome."

Axel groans, gives in, and feels Roxas' head pull back from under his arm. A moment later, the tip of Roxas' nose is pressing between Axel's shoulder blades. The arms in his pocket pull him closer, and in the middle of the embrace, Axel may have heard Roxas sigh contently.

"Sap," he comments fondly.

Roxas chuckles. "I'm not the one who sucks my cock like it's something sacred."

"Hey," Axel protests, "Don't mock my devotion to the holy dick. You should be flattered by such reverence."

"Oh, I am," Roxas admits in a magnanimous tone. His voice is muffled because he's speaking against the leather of Axel's coat, but Axel can still make out the words. Roxas' eyes are probably closed; he always keeps them closed, when he speaks in that voice. "Very flattered and very aroused. I have developed a pavlovian response to seeing you on your knees. I pop a boner even when you're trying to set the DVR."

"That's gotta be why I always end up with a dick in my mouth before we can start watching a goddamn movie," Axel huffs, but he's amused. "How long has it been since we've bought The Departed?"

"Seven months," Roxas grin. "Seven thousand blowjobs later, it's still sitting in its wrapper."

"You sound like a smug asshole."

"I am a smug asshole," Roxas grin.

They stay quiet for a little while longer, then Axel sighs.

"We still got five presents to buy," he points out.

"Blow me," Roxas mutters. He squeezes Axel harder in his arms, and Axel just wants to laugh, because they're about two hundred feet from where they started and Roxas doesn't seem to intend to be moving anytime soon.

"Naminé and Kairi already have our presents ready."

"Suck my cock."

"Even Riku and Sora have already Christmas shopped."

"Choke on my dick. Now please stop because I'm running out of way to say that."

Axel sighs, a little resigned. "You're behaving like a fucking five year old."

"Doesn't your brother call you 'cradle robber'?" Roxas hums, nuzzling against the cold leather of Axel's back. "Maybe I am five."

"Roxas, you're twenty five," Axel sighs.

"I insist that dick sucking beats Christmas shopping." Roxas murmurs, rubbing his cheek against Axel's coat like an affectionate cat. "Mmmmmh, dick suuuuucking," he purrs with a smile.

Axel's laughter is a little resigned, a moment later, and the taller man shakes his head. "I hate you."

"No you don't," Roxas purrs, "I'm preeeeeeeetty."

"Can't argue with that," Axel nods, taking a couple very awkward steps forward. His small boyfriend scampers after him, but he doesn't pull away. He would cry, if Roxas' ridiculous antics weren't so endearing. "Babe. Roxas. Light of my life," he starts, and Roxas gives a pleased murmur of appreciation. "Please, let go."

"Never gonna give you up," Roxas answers, shaking his head and sneaking his face under Axel's arm again, "Never gonna let you down."

"I'm gonna punch you in the dick," Axel says.

"Aw come on, grumpy gills, gingers gotta stick up for each other," Roxas snorts. They have reached a heavily lit store, and the smell coming from it makes Roxas' head disappear from under Axel's arm again. Axel's face whips to the window of the shop, and it's – of course – a chocolate store. The only things that can divert Roxas from these playful moods are sex and food.

Roxas' eyes are shining and it's ridiculous.

"Roxas…" he tries, but his tiny boyfriend turns around and looks pleadingly at him like he's really a needy five year old and Axel's the baby sitter with the purse to buy goodies.

"Chocolate me!" Roxas shrieks, and Axel winces just slightly.

"Roxas, we got shopping to do."

"Naminè: that statue of white chocolate," Roxas lists, pointing to various items in the shop's window, "Kairi: cherry stuffed dark chocolates. Sora: Milk chocolate keys. Riku: those spotted white and black chocolate puppies over there."

Axel looks at him; he's not that convinced, but he guesses that might work.

"I'll be good," Roxas mocks, and Axel snorts. As if. "I'll be nice and obedient like a good boy."

"You don't have one big boy bone in your whole body," Axel snorts.

"Lies and slander, I have one," Roxas protests, and when he grabs his crotch to emphasize his point, Axel rolls his eyes.

Walked right into that one, hasn't he?

* * *

The shop is warm and it has comfy chairs and nice tables. Roxas got them both a gigantic mug of warm chocolate and brownies, and Axel has to admit that – after all the cold they got outside – this is a nice way to warm up.

Roxas eats and drinks like he's starved, and when they get out, their wallets are considerably lighter, and they're carrying heavy bags filled of gift boxes of Christmas chocolates.

His little asshole of a boyfriend got it his way again.

When Axel ducks his head down to kiss Roxas' lips, they still taste of cocoa, and he just smiles.


End file.
